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Since I don't use LJ for personal stuff anymore, i'm moving!

For RP stuff, friend add tsunderrorism

For jewelry and other artsy stuff, friend add brass_tactics

You're at a multiversal giant house party. But as you go through the door, you must also pass through a mysterious machine that's a lot like a metal detector...Except after you pass through it, you feel...Funny. You feel like wearing your baseball cap backwards. Like shoving strangers. Like popping your collar. You've been...



1: Post a thread for your character. Other people reply to your thread.

2: Go here and generate a number between 1 and 7. Your character is now that type of douchebag.

3: (Optional) The responder may also roll to be douchebagized, if they wish. Or not. Just stare incredulously at what an asshole the other character now is, if you want!

Douchebag Types:

1: Fratboy/Sorority Girl douchebag-
What's up bro! You suddenly like natty ice, ultimate frisbee and Dane Cook. You swivel your baseball cap to the back, pop the collar of your polo shirt and strut with your chest out. You're horny and disrespectful constantly.

Alternatively, you're now an airheaded blond, getting through college on your parent's money and your looks.

2: Hipster Douchebag-
Are those jeans tight enough? You're ironicly insincere about everything, wear shades indoors, drink PBR and look down on anyone who doesn't listen to bands as obscure as your favorites.

3: Hippie Douchebag-
You haven't washed in weeks, reek of patchouli, constantly tell everyone around you to chill it, and are always bumming money or drugs from others. You think this makes you rebellious, but really it just makes you an entitled, privileged jerk.

4: Jersey Shore Douchebag-
A relative of the fratboy douchebag, you now have a spray-on tan that makes you look orange. You speak your own nigh incomprehensible dialect that is mainly the word "Yo" in different combinations. You have a six pack and huge arms that you got from a little working out and a lot of steroids. If male, your hair is now glossy and spiked. You're aggresive to everyone you meet.

5: Yuppie Douchebag-

Ciao! Your suit is expensive, as is your watch, PDAs (you have four), car...everything, really. You ooze snobbery, think everything around you could use "some sprucing up", and are terrified of setting foot anywhere remotely gritty.

6: UFC Fanboy Douchebag-

Another relative of the fratboy douchebag. You know all the stats of all the fighters in the sport of mixed martial arts. You wear TapOut and Affliction shirts and tune in to The Ultimate Fighter every monday night on SpikeTV. You flail against the heavy bag in your basement while listening to "Bodies" by P.O.D. and "Remember the Name" by Fort Minor. You think you're going to be the next great champion of the UFC. You have never set foot in a gym in your life.

7: Nice Guy Douchebag-

The most insidious and terrible kind of douchebag, you seem like a genuinely kind person. Always there with a shoulder to cry on, a ride home and a backrub. However you always have an ulterior motive in mind. You feel entitled to someting in return. And if the person who's the target of that "kindness" is someone you're smitten with, the thing you expect is a relationship/dates/sex. Likely to blow up, use emotional blackmail or sulk if not given what you want.

8: GrabDouchebag

Come up with your own kind of douchebag! Or reroll! It's up to you!

The brownshirts are officially here. This is a declaration of war.


Context Free Theater presents:

 mechm11 4:18 am
    we've perfected the art of chatting and sucking dick at the same time
    because who else was gonna try, right?
Food poisoning. Puked until there was nothing left. Terrible stomach...stuff. Aching. Fever. Chills. Does anyone wanna come to capitol hill tomorrow and cheer me up?
Comedy moment at Judo last night: Doing randori, one of the white belts is playing with his waist bent and ass back, as white belts are wont to do, and kinda dives eye first at my hand. His hand stays in the same place but the rest of him continues to move. So with his face still impaled on my fingers, his legs go a full 90 degrees out in front of him like a cartoon character who's slipped on a banana peel, and onto his back.


Whoooooo foodstamps! I should've swallowed my pride and done this years ago.

Jan. 16th, 2011

What an absolutely abysmal performance. 1 out of 4, and I got my bell badly rung and patches of skin scraped off my feet.